For Whom is This Dance

I like to think that I dance to share the incredible joy that I feel in the music – the smiles,  the enthusiasm, the hilarity, the comfort.  Dancing like a gentle hug,  a hearty pat on the back, goofy faces,  spinning with happiness.  I dance to get to know people better, to see a little of their reaction to the happy music of swing.

Sometimes I dance with a purpose – reaching out to someone new,  including someone shy – because of course I have been there and done that – wanting a dance and not seeing one – myself – likely that very night. Sometimes it makes me feel almost noble, thinking of others before my self.

But I also dance for myself – sometimes, I dance for my happiness.  I dance to forget my troubles,  I dance to appease my prideful, jealous, greedy, covetous nature. It feels a bit of a slippery slope to acknowledge that sometimes,  I have wishes that I want to grant myself.  Sometimes I will ignore and deny it,  since it will be staring me so ugly in the face. Sometimes I feel like I deserve it – for being obedient,  what the world owes me.

And sometimes I don’t do the dances I wish,  and sometimes the regret is palpable. I hope I learn the balance…

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