I like to think that I dance to share the incredible joy that I feel in the music – the smiles, the enthusiasm, the hilarity, the comfort. Dancing like a gentle hug, a hearty pat on the back, goofy faces, spinning with happiness. I dance to get to know people better, to see a little of their reaction to the happy music of swing.
Sometimes I dance with a purpose – reaching out to someone new, including someone shy – because of course I have been there and done that – wanting a dance and not seeing one – myself – likely that very night. Sometimes it makes me feel almost noble, thinking of others before my self.
But I also dance for myself – sometimes, I dance for my happiness. I dance to forget my troubles, I dance to appease my prideful, jealous, greedy, covetous nature. It feels a bit of a slippery slope to acknowledge that sometimes, I have wishes that I want to grant myself. Sometimes I will ignore and deny it, since it will be staring me so ugly in the face. Sometimes I feel like I deserve it – for being obedient, what the world owes me.
And sometimes I don’t do the dances I wish, and sometimes the regret is palpable. I hope I learn the balance…