Consuming vs Creating

I’m always caught at the crossroads between learning, reading, expanding my knowledge, vs the diametrically opposite desire to produce, create. Reminds me a bit of the boardgames I used to party a lot, where often there was the opposing need to build up infrastructure against scoring points. Without infrastructure, it was impossible to score any significant number of points, but spend all your time building and you’ll have no time to use the wonderful things you have wrought.
Real life isn’t so far off – I’m curious to learn more about everything – the Internet is wonderful for a voracious information found like me – but if all I do is consume this information, have I missed the chance to improve the world by contributing to it? After all, isn’t the while point of living to have an impact? Or maybe to have the biggest impact possible?
To make things muddier, I’m also by nature pretty passive. So is my inaction because I’m biding my time, or because I’m afraid. Or perhaps I’m afraid of being impulsive and stupid. But if you miss the chance to act, you’ll never be able to succeed. But this us balanced by the cost of failure. I have to take care to know when there is real cost to failure, and when it is just my pride.
I shouldn’t be so attached to my pride, given that I have so much of it.

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